Thursday, February 9, 2012

There's only one beer left? *sob*

So I just took the last beer out of the fridge and burst into tears.  I only had one, and I thought there was at least another six pack in there, but I guess not.  It's been that kind of day.

Allow me to tell you about this day in reverse.  I have time to blog because my children are watching TV right now.  At 8pm.  Because their sheets are in the washer.  Not even the dryer.  The washer.  That gives me approximately 60 more minutes before they'll be in bed.  At least the baby is sleeping.  Oh, wait, he is, but that means my 4 hours of uninterrupted sleep have already started, and as noted, I have at least another hour before my older boys are in bed, leaving me with possibly 3 hours of sleep tonight.

I had to and leave him to scream while I put the boys in their pajamas.  That was his fussy time of the night and I was left alone to do jammies and bedtime.

At least they ate dinner at the birthday party today, which means I didn't have to cook!  Happy Birthday T & M, we loved Build a Bear!  I hope my dark under eye circles and unwashed hair didn't scare any of the other mothers.  Yes, they all have kids, but based on how cute and perky everyone else looked, their kids are a little older and sleep through the night.  Or they're on speed.  Which I am now seriously considering picking up as a habit too.

A poor naptime leads to meltdowns at CVS, and a new baby with a new prescription for Thrush means the lab tech takes forever to file all the forms.  While I wrangle all three screaming.crying.children and ignore the look of death being shot at me by the little old ladies in the waiting area.  I would have gone through the drive through, but I needed to pick up a card for the birthday party.  I meant to do that earlier this week.  Didn't get to it until 20 minutes before the party.

I'm officially turning off my phone during naptime.  The ONE hour I had available to me to nap was interrupted three times by the Real Estate Agent.  They scheduled a 2pm showing.  Then cancelled it.  Then, at 1:19pm, tried to reschedule the showing for 2pm.  What part of Three Kids under Four do they not understand?  41 minutes notice to show the house?  Oh Hell No!

We made it home from preschool with one child asleep, one child fading fast and one child screaming his brains out.  I guess getting your Hep B vaccine and then being shoved into a car seat isn't a recipe for a happy car ride home.  To add insult to injury, the Dr. office was running late, so we were late to pre-school pick up, and the main door to school was locked.  I gambled and decided to park illegally, then carried two screaming children down the stairs and around to the back door to pick up the pre-schooler. 

The one bright spot in my day?  Marek is 11 lb and 1 oz.  He's been alive 31 days and he's gained 31 oz.  This is the most successful breastfeeding relationship of the three.  The first two were miserable and had me in tears every day.  This has only hit a little hiccup with the Thrush today but is still unbelievably easy.  My LCs and other BFing friends told me for the last three years that this wasn't normal, the pain should have gone away, etc.  And finally, I believe them.  I wasn't being a wimp before, the cracked and bleeding nipples with clogged ducts and mastitis were not the norm.  THIS is the norm.  THIS is what breastfeeding is supposed to be like. 

I actually had enough by 8am so after I dropped off Pete at school, I took Chester to the gym.  He went to playcare and I sat down to feed Marek and read my book.  I felt bad because I had already been screaming at the boys by 8am.  Insane, angry mommy screaming.  The kind of screaming that leaves you with a an ache in your head and shame in your heart. 

I slept 4:30am-5:30am this morning.  And 9:30pm-1am last night.  What did I do for over three hours last night?  I fought a war with my one month old poop machine.  Though I am thrilled to death that he's so well nourished that he has lots of poop, I would prefer he either poop during the day, or learn to poop without grunting, crying and wiggling.  You see, he filled his diaper and I changed it.  He filled it again, and I retaliated with a cold wipe instead of a warmed one.  He peed on me.  I put another diaper on him which he promptly filled.  I let him sit in that one for a while, but he held it and then pooped WHILE I was changing the diaper.  I gave up.  But the damage was done and it was 4am.  We finally both passed out, just as Ryan's alarm was going off at 4:30am.

One bad night is not the end of the world, but this was the third one in a row.  I'm waving the white flag.  Actually, I'm waving the Lime flag.  The Bud Light Lime flag.  But apparently I'm only waving two of them tonight, since that's all that was left in the fridge. 

We are all just doing our best. And today my best just wasn't enough. But I will try again tomorrow.  Because I love them. 


1 comment:

  1. Aw huni. I've been known to whimper as I watched the last drop of wine fall from the bottle.