Wednesday, October 17, 2012

Fake it 'till you make it!

Last few days have been light on the sleep and heavy on the coffee. 

My Monday class ran longer than normal.  The students got their first exam back, and as expected, the grade distribution looked like a reverse bell curve.  There are students who care and work hard, then there are the students who don't care and don't work hard.  None of the students who routinely ask questions in class got worse than a B+, and suddenly in class on Monday, the students who failed wanted to ask lots of questions.  It happens ever semester, and every semester I warn the students that those who fail to do homework and ask questions on it in class will fail the first exam.  And every semester about one third of the class does just that.  Some of them drop, the rest suddenly ask lots of questions and try desperately to catch up.  After 140 minutes of cash controls and cash management, I headed home and got in bed after 10pm,  then fed the baby and put us both to sleep just after 11pm just two hours later than normal.  I try my best to be in bed by taps at 9pm each night.

Sleep deficit -2

Somehow Chester took off his diaper before bed or in the middle of the night, I'm not sure.  He wet his bed, and then came to the spare bed we keep in our room.  He then wet that bed.  He was up for the day around 5:15am, a full hour earlier than normal

Sleep deficit -3

The boys were crazy all day and though I can typically get them all to nap at once and catch an hour for myself, it wasn't going to happen Tuesday.  Chester and Pete had eaten an entire jar of mandarin oranges with their lunch on Monday.  And Monday night for dinner, they asked Ryan for more.  There's no way he could have known I already fed them far too much fruit, and because the boys are normally so picky, when they asked for more oranges, he happily fed them an entire second 24oz jar of mandarin oranges with their dinner.  So Tuesday things were a little.... loose for the boys and though Pete is old enough to use the bathroom himself, Chester's mastery of the potty is not yet solid enough to handle an upset stomach.  And when he was managing to hold it in, he was so focused on not soiling himself that he peed his pants about every 30 minutes.  So I spent a lot of the day cleaning.

Sleep deficit -4

In an effort to fake alertness, last night I was upstairs in my room at 6:30pm cleaning the bathroom after dinner and decided I should do my hair, put on a dress, and welcome my husband home with a smile and a beer instead of an exasperated frazzled sigh.  He was immediately on guard, thinking he'd forgotten some event I needed to attend, but did eventually accept that I simply wanted to pretend we'd had a good day, not a day filled with, well... crap. 

I should have skipped last night's debate.  I didn't learn a thing about either candidate that they haven't already said in multiple speeches and ads, and Marek was asleep from 8:30-11:30.  Coincidentally, he woke up right as I was turning off the debate commentary to go to sleep.  Last thing I remember the clock said 12:46. 

Sleep deficit -7
Chester was back up and crying, but not entirely awake right around 1:30am.  I debated between letting him fully wake up and come to our room vs. trying to slip out of my bed to calm him in his own bed.  I slipped my nipple out of Marek's mouth (yes, I am his pacifier all night)  and stumbled down the hall, successfully soothed Chester back to sleep and tucked him in his own bed and headed back to my bed, where I was greeted by a crabby baby wondering why his pillow and pacifier had abandoned him.  Knowing that Ryan's alarm goes off at 4am, I decided to head downstairs to sooth the baby.  Poor kid is definitely getting a few new teeth, and while he didn't want to eat, he was definitely tired and wanted to rub his face and his snot all over my shoulder and breast.  He was finally solidly asleep at 3:30am and I carried him back upstairs so I could fall asleep in my bed.   

Sleep deficit -9

I must have been dead to the world, because I don't remember Ryan getting up at 4am, and I have no idea when Chester rolled into his spare bed in my room, but I know about 5am I screamed at him to put his head on the pillow and lay still or I was going to make him sleep with the dog. 

This morning, as I could hear my oldest come into the room, I assumed it was still very early because it was still dark.  I told him it was still sleeping time and to come back later.  He sounded pretty confused, and for good reason:  It was already past 7am and my room was very bright, I just had my eyes closed and thought it was still dark.

Not entirely sure when the last time I showered was (maybe Sunday?), so I hopped in for a quick wash and then dressed the whole family and myself , including hair and jewelry, packed Pete's snack, filled his special me box for show and tell and managed to get us all down the street to school by 8am.  I dressed in my work clothes, knowing I wouldn't have time today to work out, so I was and I decided to get hair and make up and jewelry done first thing too even though I normally don't bother until 5pm when it's time for class, and hope that I could fake my way into a good day.  It hasn't worked yet, but I'm determined!

Final sleep deficit of Monday and Tuesday -8

And I imagine I won't make it to bed before 11pm again because I'm teaching another class tonight. 

I'm a much better mother when I'm well rested, but clearly this week is not going to allow for that, so I'll be helping myself to a large Diet Coke on the way to swimming lessons this afternoon and trying to prop my eyes open for the 20 mile commute to teach class tonight.

To everyone else on I-95 tonight, I apologize.  But even zoned out and exhausted, I'm still probably a better driver than most of these Massholes!