I've been here before.

That number.  It looks so oddly familiar.  It is.  Odd.  And Familiar.  Since I have no idea who's reading my blog these days, I'm a little hesitant to put such a number out there.  Here goes.  Maybe I can use a small font?   177.  That's right.  I said it.  That's how much I weigh.  It's how much I weighted before I got pregnant with Marek.  So I could call it pre-pregnancy weight.  However, it's not my goal weight.  I was about 17 pounds from goal weight when I got pregnant with Marek, so now I've returned to this spot, this plateau and this time I'm determined to blow right through it. 

I'm technically overweight by the BMI charts.  And before you give me the "you have a two month old" speech, let me assure you that I was at this weight after baby two within the first six weeks.  I just never pushed past it. 

There were so many factors that contributed to me keeping 17 extra pounds after Chester.  The most glaring is that I was overconfident.  The weight peeled off after Pete.  In fact, I was the thinnest I've been since high school after Pete was born.   I didn't even have to try to get the weight off, it just melted.  I laughed in the face of women who said "nine months to put it on, nine months to take it off".  I'm 5'10" with a nice solid frame, so 145 and a size four was actually not an attractive weight for me and I happily gained back to a healthy 160 before getting pregnant again.  After Chester, I didn't bother making any sort of effort again, and lost 20 of the 40+ pounds I'd put on.  But that was it.  The scale hovered between 170 and 180 for the next year. 

Our vacation to D and K's wedding in Turks and Caicos really pushed me to make an effort.  Oh, not before the vacation, but after.  After I saw myself in pictures, and saw myself in a swimsuit I truly started my weight loss journey.  There were a few bumps in the road, but I manage to get down to 168 before starting to gain with Marek. 

This time I told myself I will not allow that to happen again.  So I'm being more careful with the alcohol.  And brownies.  It's best if I don't even let baked goods or candy in the house, as I have zero self control when I'm stressed.  After cleaning the toilet and your toddler's pants for the fifth time today, a handful of M&Ms really satisfies with the crunchy shells and the sweet chocolate melting in your mouth... but I digress. 

I'm a mere three weeks from being able to use the YMCA playcare for Marek.  Though now that I've been cleared by the midwife to return to the gym, I am going to sneak him in earlier, like this week so that I can return to my yoga, zumba and treadmills.  Exercise is both good for the body and the soul, but it's difficult to accomplish at home with three children screaming for your attention, and trying to fit it into our evenings when Ryan's home to watch Marek is nearly impossible if I want to have dinner and bedtime on time to keep my older boys in a routine.  I also do better with a stable schedule, and I'm excited to be starting a sustainable routine again, even if it means fibbing a little to the YMCA playcare.   

Mini goal #1 Sneak the baby into playcare twice a week while Pete's in pre-school.
Mini goal #2 167 pounds, which is the cut off between overweight and healthy for my height.
Mini goal #3 Run a 5K.  I returned to running after Pete and completed a half marathon, but failed miserably 8 miles into my half marathon after Chester. 
Mini goal #4 Run that half marathon!
Final goal- 160lbs, living a happy and healthy life with the ability to keep up with my three crazy boys.