Sunday, December 11, 2011

It's finally acceptable.

For months, I've been lying about my due date.  I just got tired of the shocked or horrified look on people's faces back in July when I told them I was due in January.  So when some well-meaning stranger asks when I'm due, I just pick an appropriate fake date and smile.  Random strangers have no agenda, they're not trying to ruin my day or my self-esteem.  They just want to be part of a happy moment, this beautiful time when you're creating life and what's the harm in that?

Please note, this does not excuse family, who, KNOWING the due date, continue to make remarks like "you look huge" or "are you sure it's January" or "ohh my, HOW much weight have you gained".  Shame on you.

Aside from the fact that this beautiful time of creating life is really quite painful and miserable, there's no harm in a stranger wanting to congratulate you and celebrate with you.  So instead of getting worked up over these strangers, I've chosen to give them what they want without horrifying either of us.  I lie about my due date. 

I was tired of explaining that this is the third baby in four years or that I started ten pounds heavier than with the first two, while the well-meaning stranger tried to back peddle or just plain looked embarrassed (for me being so huge or for them being so rude, I'm not sure which).

Around 10 weeks, I hadn't gained a single pound, yet I was already in maternity pants and looking quite puffy and round.  The bloating made me look approximately five months pregnant, and the vomiting made my face as puffy and round as my belly.  Most people haven't even announced their pregnancies at 10 weeks, but I was already claiming September as my due date.   

At 20 weeks, and only up 4 pounds, I looked like a beached whale at my cousin's wedding.  I'm wicked glad the focus was on her stunning dress, his adoring smile, and their bright future because it pre-empted most of the standard "when are you due" questions.

Starting around 28 weeks, I got the "you must be glad to be almost done!" to which I just started answering, "yes, I am glad, we're very excited, thank you."  About 96% of babies born this early will survive, so yes,  was very excited to be at a point where my baby would likely live if he were born today.  And "almost done" is a relative term, so I wasn't quite lying.   

Finally, at 37 weeks, I look like I'm 37 weeks.  We attended a holiday party for the District One Admiral yesterday, and if felt great to answer "yes, due just after Christmas, any time now is just fine with me" to all the sweet older ladies asking when I am due and if I am ready yet. 

Here I am, huge as a house, but it's finally acceptable.  Please excuse the lack of makeup, I've come to the point of simply storing it in my car, since that's the only place I have time to apply it. 


  1. You look beautiful! And I'm cracking up about lying about your due date. I had someone congratulate me on my pregnancy a bit ago and I just said, "thank you" instead of embarrassing both of us by telling them I'm just fat.

  2. About the make up in the car? I do that ALL the time. Also? You look AMAZING. :)

  3. I had the opposite problem with Charlie: I was gaining a ton of weight, but I didn't look pregnant at all -- I just looked FAT. I would muuuuuuuch rather people think I was due any now than just 20 pounds overweight, which they did. A fitness instructor at the gym even suggested (at 6 months preggo) that I join her ab-tastic class to work off "those extra holiday pounds."

  4. Hahaha--I completely LOVE that you made up due dates to random people--and you look *wonderful* and pull of pregnancy so well :) Honestly!!! so happy to be back so I can hang out with the new little one ;)

  5. You look beautiful!! Oh strangers and their need to comment on everything....just smile through it is a great strategy, changing the date brilliant.

  6. Well there's no excuse for taking a picture with no make up on. Tsk tsk tsk


    You look beautiful and so happy! All those little dudes of yours are lucky to have you as their momma slash wife.

  7. Remember some of us family are just stupid, not purposefully rude or mean.

    Actually that probably describes most of us.